I'm feeling better about things today. I had my hip x-rays yesterday (and they called me back after 2 hours to have more taken!), and while lying on the cold metal bed while the machine did its thing (an experience I've had all my life, at intervals), I felt totally calm, and could really embrace that this whole thing will only happen minute-by-minute, and I can cope with that (mostly, on good days).
It's when I look at the whole experience lying ahead of me in its unknown totality that I freak out. So I'll do my best not to dwell on it, and not talk about it unless I have to. I've already written about my PTSD on my Medical History form sent by the surgeon (the "list of surgeries" will be an attached sheet - there was only a piddling 3 lines to write in!). And as Honeygo said, I can choose this time, and have a say as an adult over what happens to me. It does make a difference.
Yesterday's Jejune Day was really nice (x-rays notwithstanding). A bit of shopping at the DiaperDome (our family's name for our local mall, the Hyperdome) - treated myself to a Cadfael DVD - Series 1. Back home I got a lot of knitting done on my top-down raglan making-it-up-as-I-go 12 ply Rustic jumper (piccies soon), sipped tea, got a taste for sugared tamarind from the Asian supermarket (took a while, but I got there! Very tart and salty and sweet all at once!), and enjoyed watching Derek Jacobi solve those mysteries. We have the full Cadfael book collection, and have reread them all many times.
Now for some long overdue pictures of my completed Lara - which I finished a few weeks ago. It's great, I wear it a lot, and it's SO warm. It doesn't really keep my front warm (hence the quick jumper I've just started), and while I can pin it together, it isn't a flattering look. The Bendigo Alpaca pills something terrible. But I really love it, and it's very very pretty and cosy.
*big, big, BIG hugs*
ReplyDeleteGo spoil yourself with that Cadfael DVD. Derek Jacobi is fantastic. And good to hear that the day wasn't too bad (cold metal tables notwithstanding).
Another one that pills atrociously is Jo Sharp SilkRoad Aran. I friend's just finsihed a jacketr in it and it's pilled almost immediately and now looks about 10yo after only 5 wears. Heartbreaking when one's spent a lot of $$ on yarn : ( Having said that, Lara look beautiful and the drape is absolutely gorgeous.
ReplyDeleteBrother Cadfael got me through my honors degree. I wrote to the author via her publishing house to thank her for these escapes from dire theoretical dissertations only to receive a cold reply from the publishers saying that she'd died. That was it. She's dead. Note, "Thanks for your letter, we'll forward it to her executors for her family", or anything. Pooh.
My alpaca only pills under the arms - but the jet and jo sharp are pill city - don't care - love how they feel!
ReplyDeleteI met Derek Jacobi many years ago - he was very kind! I always like both Cadfael and Claudius - but I sooooo don't approve of him narrating the night Garden!
OOh, that cardi/shrug is so nice! I love it on you - such a perfect fit.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're able to do the coping thing with all these tests. Take one step at a time. It's really the best way. The ultimate big futuristic goal is to be pain and limp free, but don't worry about that yet. Just work on coping with each little thing you have to do to get there.
xx
Fantastic news - and that Lara looks so lovely.
ReplyDeleteLara does look lovely!! Good luck with your new jumper!!!! I can vouch for its warmness!!!
ReplyDeleteGlad ypou are feeling a little cheerier health wise too.
She's gorgeous. It's perfect!
ReplyDeleteOh your Lara looks so fabulous!
ReplyDeleteLara looks mega-cuddly! You did such a splendid job on her! I think you will find that if you patiently pull the pills off, it will stabilize and stop shedding soon.
ReplyDeleteWhen I go to the doctor for any of those procedures that require me to take off my clothes and run around in a flimsy gown in a cold environment, I take a big cuddly warm shawl and refuse to surrender it unless they give me a blanket. Since they don't have blankets handy, I get to exercise control over that much more of the situation.
I think the "one thing at a time" motto is a good one. It's how I handle big things. I break them down and handle each little bit. Lara looks so pretty on you. Too bad about the pilling. I hate that.
ReplyDeleteI just love that series and have rented several episodes. I've never seen the series for sale, perhaps I should look harder.
ReplyDeleteI just love Lara, too bad about the pilling. But it must have been heavenly to knit up.