23 December 2007
My little brother Tim died at 2.30 this afternoon. He lost consciousness, they called an ambulance, but he died before reaching hospital (across the road). He was 27.
I spent 2 hours with him (and Mum) yesterday, and he was fairly good then, not in too much pain and quite on the ball. I'm glad I went, even though it was hard. I was able to give him a foot massage, and say I forgave him for some (minor) things which had been magnified, distorted and preying on his mind for years, and told him I loved him.
The final indignity is that since he was in state care in a psychiatric care facility, his death is being treated as a "death in custody", and there is going to be an inquest and autopsy. I'm finding this utterly devastating. I don't understand why they can't just leave him alone. His death was expected, there were no suspicious circumstances. The police were at the hospital soon after he died, and my parents were interviewed, and all the staff who cared for him and his doctors are being interviewed...
I suppose the autopsy is to determine the exact cause of death. I guess it's standard procedure in these circumstances, but I still wish we didn't have to go through this. We don't know when his body will be released to us, so we can't plan his funeral. Probably early January. He will be buried at the Cobargo Cemetery (on the south coast), which is very close to Mum and our brother Dave (they both live within walking distance of the cemetery).
The photo is of him soon after arriving from Korea in 1985 (he was adopted when he was 5), with Mum.
Sweet dreams little brother.