I think all the women I'd nominate are already in the Rockin' Ranks...
Saw the counsellor at Carers ACT today, was a Good Thing TM, and somewhat overdue. She's encouraging me to take a WHOLE DAY out of EVERY week for myself (frikking hell!). I normally manage a fraction of a day every month.... so this is going to be a bit of a challenge!
But I can feel my sanity, peace of mind, sense of humour, and health (such as it is) slipping away over the past few months, there are just too many never-bloody-ending family stresses : Hubby with severe M.E. (CFS) and ADHD (his life consists of staggering to work, and collapsing in bed at all other times) ; unemployed Son with Asperger's ; Dotter with ADHD (which requires ongoing help with written schoolwork), Type 1 Diabetes (still getting our heads around that one) and possibly something else autoimmune which still being investigated; 84-year-old annoyingly impossible FIL with dementia; plus my own crap (fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis). When it comes to running the family, I'm practically a single mum, only I have a sick husband as well. He brings in the main income, so mustn't complain
The Plan : have Tuesdays OFF. Go to the Carers' Singing Group (Tuesday afternoons) - I've wanted to sing for ages, since RSI stopped me playing the violin. Don't drive kids anywhere, don't cook, clean, work in the business, write puzzles, fill orders, answer the phone, go to medical appointments, or run around after anyone. Have lunch somewhere by myself. Go for a walk alone. Listen to music. Knit. Read. Paint. Sleep.
How to get there? I'll need to work more steadily on the other days of the week so I can afford to have Tuesdays away from my business. So probably less blogging time. More focussed work. Get the family to agree to do dinner on Tuesday nights. Don't allow any other appointments on Tuesdays. Set limits. Stick to them.
Wish me luck. It seems impossible right at this moment.
Sounds like an excellent idea. And on Tuesdays it should be a doable day. Ie, nothing on the "first thing on Monday" list..
ReplyDeletePlus it's cheap night at the movies if you want to really chill out :)
Pity it wasn't Wednesday or Friday as those are the days I'm not paid to work so could have fun leading you astray... :-)
ReplyDeleteI think it sounds like a great idea - it will no doubt take some work to make it happen, but will be worth it - good luck! No pressure re blogging, we'll stick around!
ReplyDeleteI'm right behind you on this one. It might take a little while to get the troops used to the idea, but it will certainly be worth it. You deserve it, without a doubt!
ReplyDeleteYes, Jejeune, you MUST do this and stick to it. We all need 'down time' and I think you need it NOW. If the rest of them don't make dinner on Tuesday nights I wouldn't worry about it too much - they won't starve to death!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your "Jejune Day!" I still think you ought to keep taking those fractions of the day whenever you can, as well - don't give those up!!! Not ever!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to use some time for me tonight and head on over to the gym for a little workout. Does the body AND soul good, and I've really lost a lot of strength, I've noticed, since I haven't been going to the gym that much these past 8 or so months. Gotta get more resistance training in with the weights!
P.S. Your button is cute. Do I need a button? What's it for? Maybe I ought to make me one ... : )
ReplyDeleteYou go girl! (and other empowering American things) and realising just how important it is to hold back time for ourselves - pack a picnic and knitting for the park, canoe on the lake, have toasted sandwiches for Tues dinner - drink wine and dance!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you need this time. There are so many demands on your time and energy. If you are going to keep your well of creativity full, you have to refresh it. I hope it works out and the family is helpful. Good energy vibes are flying your way.
ReplyDeleteYou can do it!! The other things will always wait a bit. You'll never think you actually have time to take time off, you just have to do it and pick up where you left off. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteBeing a fulltime Carer and having FMS is not the best is it? [ but then we both know our FMS is stress exacerbated ]
ReplyDeleteI get Tuesday nights off once a fortnight for 5 1/2 hours to drive about 50km to the other side of Bendigo for a dance class. Does me the world of ... bad ... because people with FMS are not supposed to engage in super high impact activities. I feel like s**t on Wednesdays of those weeks but I don't care because I HAVE to keep dancing to stay sane. Having done the whole thing with being the Carer for David and also the terminally ill [late] husband BUT with the other two still living at home versus now just me and David, I'm not really sure which is the harder. Probably about even. Until something happens to me or dave and I have no backup. Think I just answwered my own question.
Oh well, we'll both just hang in there - and try to do some sanity knitting occasionally - right?
Yes Jejune - do it. If you need anyone to give you a shove on those days and say, oy, weren't you supposed to be having today off? then you know where to find me.:-)
ReplyDeleteYou have to take care of the carer first so she can care of everyone else! Believe me, I know! So have Tuesday off as a way to better look after your family. And don't forget to take your knitting with you when you go have that cup of coffee by yourself. You will have plenty of support if you need it. Rhonda
ReplyDeleteHey Jejune - yes, get yourself to the singing group! As a chorister, I can't recommend highly enough the power of singing as a joyful and healing experience. If you're not familiar with it, check out the Choir of Hard Knocks - choral singing has had the most amazingly positive effect of the members.
ReplyDeleteWhat can I say that hasn't already been said? No matter how strong our lives demand that we are, we must take time for ourselves. So tell the clan you must take the time to recharge your batteries and that they'll just have to get used to it.
ReplyDeleteEveryone needs a "me day". I used to have "Michelle Night" on Monday nights where I would sit and sew and not cook and not clean up and not answer the phone.
ReplyDeleteNow I have my own sewing room, i try to make most nights "Michelle Night", although I still have to cook ;-)
Don't bother finding out if the troops are OK with it. Just tell them it's happening. A night of hungry bellies will soon teach them where the cheese and toast is.
Good luck! Sounds like you need it. I admire your resilience - I cared for Mr QM for three years of emotional and physical illness, and that fairly did me in. Thank heavens he is mostly OK now.
And if you ever want a coffee on the Akuna St side of town on Jejune Day, give me a hoy. I'll give you my work number next time I see you.
My advice: Get out of the house right away on Tuesdays. Other wise, things and people will demand your attention and whittle away on your day till there is nothing left. Do it! Even if you go to the local coffeeshop and sit there for an hour in your slippers with your hair uncombed while you get your brains together, just do it!
ReplyDeleteyano, the first few times will be difficult - but i think you'll grow to love them and you'll become highly protective of them too.
ReplyDeleteTake care ok?
btw your mermaid gloves look amazing.
So much to say about this... I hate how getting to "have time for ourselves" ends up meaning we get CRUSHED on the other days to fit in the "fun" that we should be entitled to a bit of. (Ewww... so many poorly-placed prepositions. Sorry.) It's not like you're asking for time to train to become a Mt. Everest hiker or Olympian. You just want a bit of time. But I get this suggestion all the time, and always wonder, well, if it wrecks all my other days... is it really fun? I'm sorry - I wish your life were easier; you definitely don't deserve all this. You are waayyy too Rockin'.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing better than self time. Plus, you will benefit from the break! Go for it!!!
ReplyDeleteSinging is such a wonderful uplifting thing to do. I'm sure it will help you escape from reality and be good for your soul.
ReplyDeleteI always thought it was interesting that the different offshoots of ADDs are related to Winnie the Pooh characters.
ReplyDelete